Jamie’s Story

Hi, I’m Jay. I’m an addict alcoholic in recovery and was in and out of homelessness for a long time until I found Turning Tides. Growing up, I wasn’t wanted by my mum. My brother and sister were. They were treated right and I was neglected and unloved. I referred to myself as Harry Potter in the cupboard. I didn’t realise for a long time that my mum suffered from alcoholism, addiction and mental health issues.

When I was nine, I found solvents. I found that empty space. That nice, quiet space where I felt safe. That carried on for a number of years and then the drugs started to increase. I was alcohol dependent, I was drug dependent. Before school, during school, after school. I’d do things to get into detention so I didn’t have to go home and get abused by my mum.

And then at 16, my mum kicked me out and that was it, I was homeless in Brighton at 16 years old. No responsibilities. I got in with the wrong people. I thought they were good friends but they weren’t.

I moved around a lot – from Brighton to Preston, to Warrington, to Wigan, to Blackpool. Homeless. All this time I’ve been homeless. I was on the run all that time for a burglary that I committed and I got caught. I got a year at Young Offenders, that was nightmarish. When I came out, I was 18 and still in addiction. I met my future wife. She was older than me with three kids. I didn’t even know how to look after myself so I could never really be there mentally to help with the family. In 2015, I found recovery for the very first time. I started to go to a 12-step fellowship and was engaging in Narcotics Anonymous. I got six months clean and thought “Hallelujah”. I thought the skies lit up and I found recovery, this is what I need to be doing and why I’d left my wife and stepchildren.

I met someone else. She accepted me as an addict, we moved away and I stopped doing the meetings. I stopped reaching out, stopped calling people, stopped doing the simple things and it just got worse. In 2018, that relationship finished and I moved to Bognor. I was deep in addiction, deep in alcoholism and I was in a tent. I was getting so wasted I couldn’t even put the tent up, so I was just sleeping with a tent over me. I had people spitting at me, swearing at me, abusing me, urinating on me. I told myself I can’t do this anymore. I had an assessment for the Recovery Project with Turning Tides. I had the first assessment and had that little bit of hope. Then a second assessment gave me a bit more hope. It took me a really long time to get in there because of the vacancies, because of the turnaround and waiting for rooms to come about. I’d lost everything, my family, my job, my kids. It came to a point when I couldn’t lose no more. I didn’t think I was worth anything.

The day I moved into the Recovery Project in Worthing in July 2023, I fell to my knees. People won’t believe me. This is a guy that’s lived a really horrible life and done some damage and blamed everyone for everything. I knew I had to somehow get this chip off of my shoulder that I’d been carrying for a long time. So I started to engage with the staff and with a 12-step fellowship. Everything I’ve lost, I gained tenfold since that day. I’ve been cradled by Turning Tides and the staff at the Recovery Project from the moment I walked in, to the moment I left. I started to engage with a Turning Tides counsellor called Sam. She was brilliant. She got to the point but really encouraged me.

For me, the whole thing with Turning Tides is about engaging and encouragement. It’s all done from a kind heart. Compassion. Never had that before. I sobered up my second year. This is the time I now find me and start doing things for me. That includes finding work and finding what I’m good at. I can’t afford to buckle and go off track. Everything I’ve learnt in two years, I’ll continue to do for the rest of my life.

Turning Tides is still helping me. Two years on. Anytime I want a cup of coffee, a chat… To talk about how things are going. I attend a Monday aftercare group and that helps. There’s a lady here called Debbie. She takes the group and she’s given that time so that we can talk about how life on the outside of the house is. Because some of us, we miss the camaraderie. I’ve got a mobile phone. I can contact people and say I don’t know how to handle a situation. Connection is key. Connection, community. If I didn’t get into the Turning Tides property, the Recovery Project, there’s no way I can emphasise enough, I was at jumping point. I wouldn’t be here now.